All our lives we are inclined to believe that we are in a multiplayer game with more than 7 billion people around us playing the same game. We are in a constant fear of peer pressure, sometimes doing things, we don’t want to do at all. We feel that if we do not follow or chase what others are doing, we will be left behind. The reality is kind of opposite in my opinion. Do you know that what is our default state? Its solitude.
In our heads, we are always making stories which does not make sense at all. We fear of those future incidents which haven’t happened yet, and probably will never occur. The disadvantage of all of this is that we forget what actually matters in this life.
The interactions we are having with each other may have an effect on our internal state but sometimes our internal state changes without any interference from the outer world. To overcome this, mindfulness can help us in a lot of ways. If you are having any trouble with passing an exam, getting a job or finding a loved one, always remember that they are the things which will eventually happen if you keep on working towards them. What matters is your state of mind at this moment, take a second and feel grateful of what you have right now.
If we take example of education, we will see that since childhood we are thrown into a well where everyone just competes with each other to get out of the well, but the truth is, there is no getting out. There will always be a person more learned than you. There will always be a person who has a higher degree than you. There will always be a person who has more gold medals than you. We turn learning into a multiplayer game where we compete with others to stay ahead. Although competition is important, it is a force that moves us forward, but it should never get involved in our happiness. We should remember that happiness is single player.
Another multiplayer game that the society has created is making money. How much should one make to feel satisfied? Do you think all the billionaires are content with what they have? They are not. Within those top one percent, they contest with each other. Even if you start making one million dollars per year from now on, there will still be a person making more than you.
Additionally, you cannot share your happiness. Even if you do, you are doing it because you feel better after doing it. The competitive games we are trying to play are never winnable. You can be the richest person but one day you will not be the richest anymore. It may sound strange, but you cannot be best at everything. If you are great at one thing, you will not be good at another.
We keep working hard in these external games, but never ever have we focused on our internal settings. We strive for more, perhaps this new thing will make our life feel satisfied but its not going to work. The answer is to stop playing. Nevertheless, life goes on and we have to work towards our goals which will turn into other goals after few months sometimes years. You are not in a competition to be happier than others.
The most brilliant and happy people I have seen all work in a single player mode. They don’t experience jealousy to the extent that normal people do. They consider success as a byproduct. You might ask a byproduct of what? In reply I would say of happiness. They don’t chase success like most of us do. There is no doubt that we can never be totally happy, we will keep on playing these multiplayer competitive games. The important thing is to remind ourselves everyday that they don’t matter more than our internal conditions. If we remove all the noise and distractions, then focus on our interior signals, we can achieve what is not found in our lives at this point of time.
Star thinking single player. Measure yourself against yourself. Have you ever thought where were you ten years ago on October 17th, 2009? How far have you reached? If you focus on your inner workings, you will able to move towards a meaningful life.
I would like to end this by mentioning what Naval Ravikant said in this podcast:
“Life is a single player game. You are born alone. You are going to die alone. All of your interpretations are alone. All of your memories are alone. You are gone in three generations and no one cares. Before you showed up nobody cared. Its all SINGLE PLAYER !”